The author of more than 30 successful business books and many popular publications about career, business ethics and psychology, Jeff Hayden said that during his career he most of all regrets that he did not have much to say to his colleagues. Lost opportunities can no longer be returned, but this can be prevented.
Work.ua publishes its recommendations that can help you avoid such regrets in the future.
I left the company many years ago, but from time to time I come across my former colleagues. Usually, the conversation starts something like this: “Have you heard about the last (although it looks silly) decision of the plant management?”
But this time I heard another question.
“You worked there for over 20 years,” said my former colleague. “Is there anything you would like to do differently, returning to the past?”
I thought a lot about it. In fact, I don’t really regret some strategic mistakes, inappropriate tactical decisions or career mistakes (there were a lot of them). At that time, of course, I really regretted it, but now I think differently.
Instead, most of all I regret that I did not have time to tell my colleagues and management. I would like to change that.
It's too late for me, but not for you. Here are five things you should say about today to the people you work with.
“It was great when you ...”
No one gets enough praise. Nobody. Choose the people who actually did something good, and tell them about it.
Do not be afraid to go back in time. Your words “I was just thinking about how well you did the project last year” will have the same positive impact today as it would then (or even more, because you also remember what happened a year ago). Praise can be compared to a gift that gives the giver practically nothing, but is invaluable to the recipient.
"Could you help me…"
Most of all, I regret that I did not ask my boss for help. I led the project, on which he also dreamed of working. To his credit, swallowing an insult, he generously offered me his help (although he was above me in office).
It is worth noting that he really wanted to take part in the work on this project, but I did not allow it. I decided to show that I can cope with the task alone. I decided that my ego was more important than his feelings.
A request for help is an implicit recognition of the person’s skills and abilities. When you say: “Could you help me?”, You mean “you are doing an excellent job with this (this is your strong point).”
Speaking of the bonus - you get help.
“I regret not ...”
We all made and are making mistakes. There are things to apologize for: words, actions, misconduct.
Just say you're sorry. And do not follow after: “But I was very upset ...” or “I think you are ...”, as well as any words that hint at the smallest guilt of another person.
Say that you are sorry and why you are sorry, and also take all the blame upon yourself. Neither more nor less.
"Can I help you…."
In some organizations, asking for help is seen as a sign of weakness. Many people, naturally, are embarrassed to ask someone for help. But everybody needs her from time to time.
When you say: “Can I help you with something?”, Most people automatically answer: “No, everything is in order.” Be specific. Say: "I have a few minutes, I can help you finish this business."
Offer help in such a way that it looks like collaboration, not patronage.
And then help.
“I'm sorry I let you down.”
I was somehow assigned to start a project in another department. That was what I did not want to do. I let it go. I allowed other people to relax, and I took up the fact that I was much more interested.
My manager ventured to entrust me with this project, so that I could gain wider powers, which, at that moment, did not interest me at all. In the end, he was forced to tell me the following: "Everyone knows that you are very busy, therefore, it was decided to finish this project without you."
I felt very embarrassed, but I never said: “I know that you tried to help me. I'm sorry to let you down. I promise it will never happen again. ” One of these phrases could help me “get the elephant out of the china shop.”
We create our own problems. We have to solve them.
Work.ua publishes its recommendations that can help you avoid such regrets in the future.
I left the company many years ago, but from time to time I come across my former colleagues. Usually, the conversation starts something like this: “Have you heard about the last (although it looks silly) decision of the plant management?”
But this time I heard another question.
“You worked there for over 20 years,” said my former colleague. “Is there anything you would like to do differently, returning to the past?”
I thought a lot about it. In fact, I don’t really regret some strategic mistakes, inappropriate tactical decisions or career mistakes (there were a lot of them). At that time, of course, I really regretted it, but now I think differently.
Instead, most of all I regret that I did not have time to tell my colleagues and management. I would like to change that.
It's too late for me, but not for you. Here are five things you should say about today to the people you work with.
“It was great when you ...”
No one gets enough praise. Nobody. Choose the people who actually did something good, and tell them about it.
Do not be afraid to go back in time. Your words “I was just thinking about how well you did the project last year” will have the same positive impact today as it would then (or even more, because you also remember what happened a year ago). Praise can be compared to a gift that gives the giver practically nothing, but is invaluable to the recipient.
"Could you help me…"
Most of all, I regret that I did not ask my boss for help. I led the project, on which he also dreamed of working. To his credit, swallowing an insult, he generously offered me his help (although he was above me in office).
It is worth noting that he really wanted to take part in the work on this project, but I did not allow it. I decided to show that I can cope with the task alone. I decided that my ego was more important than his feelings.
A request for help is an implicit recognition of the person’s skills and abilities. When you say: “Could you help me?”, You mean “you are doing an excellent job with this (this is your strong point).”
Speaking of the bonus - you get help.
“I regret not ...”
We all made and are making mistakes. There are things to apologize for: words, actions, misconduct.
Just say you're sorry. And do not follow after: “But I was very upset ...” or “I think you are ...”, as well as any words that hint at the smallest guilt of another person.
Say that you are sorry and why you are sorry, and also take all the blame upon yourself. Neither more nor less.
"Can I help you…."
In some organizations, asking for help is seen as a sign of weakness. Many people, naturally, are embarrassed to ask someone for help. But everybody needs her from time to time.
When you say: “Can I help you with something?”, Most people automatically answer: “No, everything is in order.” Be specific. Say: "I have a few minutes, I can help you finish this business."
Offer help in such a way that it looks like collaboration, not patronage.
And then help.
“I'm sorry I let you down.”
I was somehow assigned to start a project in another department. That was what I did not want to do. I let it go. I allowed other people to relax, and I took up the fact that I was much more interested.
My manager ventured to entrust me with this project, so that I could gain wider powers, which, at that moment, did not interest me at all. In the end, he was forced to tell me the following: "Everyone knows that you are very busy, therefore, it was decided to finish this project without you."
I felt very embarrassed, but I never said: “I know that you tried to help me. I'm sorry to let you down. I promise it will never happen again. ” One of these phrases could help me “get the elephant out of the china shop.”
We create our own problems. We have to solve them.
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